The best kinds of people to have around you are the caring kind. They are what we think of as ‘true’ friends. Getting to know who s who can be most interesting and sometimes most challenging.

This advice is universal. It fits for anyone of any age when making decisions about who to bring into your life and heart as a friend. However, these tips are stated in a way that will be especially helpful for tweens and teens as well as for kids and adults with ADHD, Autism or Asperger Syndrome. These tips will be useful for those who have a difficult time picking up the cues and clues that give them the Go! or

the No! when it comes to friendship.

Here are eight tips to guide you to recognize a true friend:

1. Do you feel your friend cares about what you have to say? A real friend pays attention while you are talking and asks questions if he or she does not fully understand your situations or feeling before giving advice about it.

2.True friends are interested in what is good for you not for what you can give to them or do for them. A true friend would advise you to do only what is safe, smart and helpful to you. It helps sometimes to see if other people you like and respect also like your new

friend.

3. Do you ever feel pressure to do something you don t want to do? If you feel this way, it is your true friends who can help you sort out how to be yourself, do the right thing and still be a part of the crowd.

4. If you make a mistake, a true friend helps you feel better. A true friend does not make you feel dumb, gossip to others or criticize you.

5. A true friend gives you space and privacy if you want it. You don t have to explain or wonder if your friend will be upset if you prefer to do something your own way, on your own time.

6. When you have problem, a true friend encourages you to find people you trust to help you take the right steps to solve it. to tell you to talk to an adult or with the right experience.

7. True friends understand how much you can do. If your parents don t permit you to go out on school nights, a true friend will stick by you when you can be together.

8. A true friend lets you have other friends. You don t have to worry about a true friend getting upset if you spend time with someone else. There are so many different ways youcan spend time with people. You might have

a certain friend who loves to play basketball with you and other friends who are your movie or concert friends. This does not mean dropping your friend for something else. Real friends have mutual respect and make room for each other to do what they want.

This guide is also a good way to evaluate how good a friend you are to others!

Ellen Mossman-Glazer M.Ed. is a Life Skills Coach and Behavioral Specialist, specializing in Asperger Syndrome, High Functioning Autism, ADHD, and learning difficulties. Over her 20 years in special education classrooms and treatment settings, Ellen has seen the struggle that children and adults have when they feel they don’t fit in. She now works in private practice,

by phone, teleconference groups and email, helping parents, educators, caregivers and their challenging loved ones, to find their own specific steps and tools to thrive.

Ellen is the author of two on line e-zines, Emotion Matters: Tools and Tips for Working with Feelings and Social Skills: The Micro Steps. Subscribe for free and see more about Ellen at http://artofbehaviorchange.com/
You can take a free mini assessment which Ellen will reply to with your first action step.